The Beginning

And so I find myself back in the beautiful city of Cork January 2013 having left 14 years ago August 1998. I must say, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been gone 14 years. It’s as if, the last 14 years were my journey back to home where I can now pick up where I left off and begin again. Only THIS time, I have ‘matured’ (Ha..to be seen) and have MOST of the tools I need to survive, (Always room to keep learning), enjoy the beauty of the little things that life has to offer, be satisfied with less and see the humour in everything. I have found the key to my wellbeing is finding humour in everything and always focus on the positive of any situation you may find yourself in. Try it. It really becomes contagious and draws in more positivity around you which is a wonderful feeling. Don’t you LOVE those belly laughs you had as a kid, where you almost couldn’t breathe you were laughing so hard, and it was usually over something so simple? I have had more of them in the last 4 months than I can remember..why? because I set myself free, stopped the worrying, the wondering, chose to take a step off the fast train life can move us on to and just be. I, my friends, have taken a “sabbatical” as in, not earning money via employment and given myself 6 months “off” to revisit my roots, re-kindle old friendships, write, travel, re-energize and see where the next wave of life takes me. It’s all about forward motion with zero expectations.

This decision was not made overnight. It was a build up of a sequence of events which will be covered here at some stage, but not necessary to get into now. The true clincher was my last trip home to Cork to see family October 2012 and when I returned to Seattle, for the first time in 14 years I actually felt homesick. Now THAT is a strong emotion. I decided to listen to it.

Worth mentioning here also, is an aging aunt who is 93.   Now, this aunt of mine is not a typical 93 year old. She is very with it albeit has been dying daily since January 2012 and has no problem telling me so as I would phone her for my plans to visit. A typical conversation might go like this (Emphasizing some words in capital letters and bold as she does have a little deafness..at times..*ahem*) :

“Oh, you’re coming home? WHEN? OCTOBER? What month is it now? August? ohhh..that’s a few months away yet…I’ll try and last till then so”

Ha Ha..priceless.

Another priceless moment (which aided my decision to come to Ireland for my “sabbatical”), was after my return to Seattle from the recent October trip, and I phoned her to see how she was doing.

Set the scene:
Ireland recently discontinued Analog service so she is now the owner of a Digital TV. New world and not very familiar with the complicated remote control and how to operate it.  While on the phone I could hear the TV blaring in the background (and I mean blaring) and she wanted to find the remote to turn it off, so we could chat.  I waited on the line while she searched.  As it was so loud, I could hear it clearly and the music playing was the song “I’m sexy and I know it” I had one of those belly laughing moments with tears in my eyes, picturing her moving around and searching for the remote with this in the background, knowing full well she cannot hear it.
I explained it to her and she laughed saying “oh, so you had a laugh at my expense” and I said “oh, yes I did” Gotta love the Irish sense of humour…it doesn’t get any better.
Right after that, she said these words to me:
“Won’t you come home Ciara. Don’t die in America.”
Right there and then I had my answer and a flurry of activity began to make plans to do this.
You see, I am bi-polar and during a manic phase (my first ever at 40) I had an incredible experience where I journeyed back to the womb. I also saw, I will die at 47. I am now 44 so I have 3 years to give my life my all and I am lucky enough to be in a position to do so. I am hoping to use this blog to tell the story of my lifes journey to date.   I want to use my life learned skills, my talents, my passions in the best possible way and do what I do best – bring humour to life’s situations and help someone along the way. This is not meant to be morbid in anyway. Who knows if I will die at 47, does what I saw and felt, actually mean death of my body or could it mean re-birth of me? A setting free of the past that haunts? Only time will tell. But, it has driven me to do this, so, I hope you will enjoy.
Life assumes the path of least resistance and it feels effortless.